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Joke of the Day
"Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate."
Next Joke
"Direct from my 8-year old: How do nursing babies blow their noses? With breast tissue."
"I'm a violent sadist, but I also enjoy beastiality. Am I flogging a dead horse?"
"If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language? **An American.**"
"Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson? The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library."
"Why is OP's dog never satisfied? They don't do liver"
"[At Neiman Marcus] *looks at sales clerk* *holds up a Prada and a Burberry briefcase* I don't know...which one will hold more chicken nuggets?"
"Pork is awesome, but it's best when used as a verb."
"If you replaced Odysseus with Oedipus.. ..would a long series of journeys or wanderings be known as an Oedipussy?"
"Post your best racist joke here I'll start: I tried to paint my computer black so it would run faster but now it doesn't work!"