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Joke of the Day

"A man is at a job interview Interviewer: it says here you had a 4 year gap in your resume Man: I went to Yale Interviewer: Your hired Man: Wow I finally got a yob"

"What is a blonde's favorite fairy tale? Humpme Dumpme!"

"""Must you lick the knife?"" ""Sorry,force of habit"" I said ""Loads of people do it though, don't they?"" ""Yes, but not during surgery, Doctor"""

"Imagine if trees gave off Wi-Fi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too. Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath."

"How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb? One. He is drunk, and he tells the bulb to screw itself."

"Scooby Doo led me to believe there would be a LOT more abandoned amusement parks and old people pretending to be ghosts. So Disappointed."

"It was so cold out... I was cold out today, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets."

"Why does Snoop Dogg wear a condom? Fo jizzle."

"People used to think George Washington was antisocial. But he just wasn't a party person."

"Watched my first porno today... I looked much younger back then."