31527

Joke of the Day

"Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter.... Jill came down with two fifty."

"GRADUATION TIP: Don't graduate! The real world is terrifying. Hide out in the library. They can't make you leave if they can't find you!"

"Autocorrect changed fries to friend and I think I've offered to eat my friend. I'm not sure if I should clarify, or see where it goes."

"That awkward moment when Batman opens the condom compartment instead of the Batarang compartment in his utility belt."

"Reading popular baby names. Once again, Adolf is nowhere to be found."

"What's an alcoholic's favorite type of beer? All of them"

"What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter."

"Football is so cute it's like some guys are like we're gonna get you and one guys like no no no no"

"What does a donkey say? It says ""Hey Shrek, whats up?"" (I was 9 when i made this okay)"

"I would never expect to get a penny from a dollar machine. It just doesn't make cents."