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Joke of the Day

"Football is so cute it's like some guys are like we're gonna get you and one guys like no no no no"

"It's pretty silly to be afraid of spiders when most of them have probably never answered a text message with a phone call."

"I decided to stop buying CDs and MP3s and start buying only vintage records. And that's vinyl."

"If realigion isn't real then why does it have the word ""real"" in it?"

"I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet... so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately."

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."

"How do bored cows sound like? Meh"

"*a spider slowly rolls past my house on a tiny skateboard* ""kids, go to the bomb shelter. it seems my past has finally caught up with me"""

"I also have a Vampire joke, but I won't tell it to you. Because it sucks."

"If I were an astronaut, I'd want to be one for the Bahamas because I really don't want to take the risk of actually going into space."