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Joke of the Day
"I sing like an amputee I can't hold a note. I can't carry a tune."
Next Joke
"*on date* Me [don't let her know you're married] I have a wif..i hotspot on my phone. Her: oh that's cool. Me: yeah my wife got it for me."
"The Bat-phone rings, it's... Commissioner Gordon. ""Batman, Jokers at it again. He's stolen all of tampons in Gotham. It's a bloody mess..."""
"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, ""that's a little condescending."""
"Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN? To find out the latest on gum control legislation."
"Why are there only seat belts in the end of the bus? Because #backlivesmatter"
"How do you know it's midnight at the Neverland Ranch? The big hand's touching the little hand."
"What's a killer whale's favorite pasta? Penguini"
"Ever heard of the undertaker who accidentally dug another body? He made a grave mistake."
"Don't forget to wish that one bottle of salad dressing in your fridge a happy 2nd birthday!"