216142

Joke of the Day

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, ""that's a little condescending."""

"My young nephew said that people with glasses should only be able to marry other people with glasses. He's like a tiny Republican senator."

"Squiggly line squiggly line space Squiggly line squiggly line space Squiggly line squiggly line space ~me reading Arabic DM"

"Hate your job as a calendar maker?Need a way to get fired? Easy. ( _) ( _)>- (_) Just take a day off"

"I was shopping with my wife the other day and saw a TV on sale for $20... It said that the volume was stuck on full. I looked at my wife and said ""I can't turn this one down!"""

"How do you drown a hipster? Drag him into the mainstream."

"Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan."

"What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists? Rise up lights"

"Why did the gay man vote for Trump? He was the biggest dick in the race."

"People tend to overreact when they look in their rear view mirror & see you sitting in their backseat dressed like a clown."