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Joke of the Day
"Him: you look tired today Me: you look like you need a mouth that says better sentences"
Next Joke
"[kung fu fight] ""Your tiger claw is no match for my crane."" *starts lifting heavy building materials*"
"[restaurant] *motions for waiter* Waiter! Bill please! *Bill comes out & dances embarrassingly to entertain me & the guests* Thanks Bill!"
"I hate when I miss the garbage truck and just have to throw trash in the neighbors hot tub again"
"*Lysol kills 99.9% of germs on my counter* LYSOL: ""Hey .1% germs... ( -_-)>- (_) Tell your friends"""
"""My advice to you: subtlety."" - The Joker, to Trump"
"Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank."
"Pick-up Line How 'bout you come to Myspace, so I can Twitter you with my Yahoo then Google all over your Facebook?"
"Redneck yoga. What did the redneck say to the yoga instructor when she asked him to leave the class? Nahimastay"
"How does Microsoft count to 10? 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."