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Joke of the Day

"Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country? Because opposite poles attract"

"I threw up my hands in disgust last night. Knew I shouldn't have eaten them."

"Did you see the headline about the film director who stormed off set after someone filled his trailer with herbs? Michael Bay Leaves"

"""Yeah girl, lick my ass."" - stamps"

"Everytime I see my see my neighbors having sex in their hot tub, I think to myself ""I can't believe I'm recording this"""

"A hooker has sex with a leper... he said ""keep the tip."""

"What was Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1"

"The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is the only movie I've ever cried to... I laughed so hard I cried"

"What do you need to make a crystal salad? Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice"

"All my life, I thought air was free... ... until I bought a bag of crisps!"