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Joke of the Day

"What do you need to make a crystal salad? Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice"

"People who hit Reply All to 20+ recipients and then say, ""Thanks!""--please know, you are going to Hell. Nothing can save you. Nothing."

"[therapy] HIM: Should we talk about the elephant in the room? ME: I don't like to talk about him ELEPHANT: Ok wow I'm like right here man"

"What do you say to a bodybuilder to get him to repeat you? No Whey"

"What is Will Smith's job ? He's a blacksmith"

"How long does it take for a black woman to take the trash out? 9 months"

"Why do people dislike the new iPhone 7 so much? It can't do jack shit."

"Based on the Scotland vote results... It looks like the UK didn't get off Scot-free."

"Like that scene in 'The Revenant' where Leo is mauled by the bear but it's just me at your wedding reception dancing with your grabby aunt."

"Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can ""skip ad"" last 30 seconds?"