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Joke of the Day

"what did they start calling the timelord after he started frequenting one too many prostitutes? doctor whore"

"Death metal fans are complaining abt all the noise. Irony."

"I clicked ""Going"" on a Facebook event last week but now I feel like staying in... *masked tough guys throw me in a van* ""You committed, pal"""

"Unintentionally Offensive Word Nerd Pickup Line Do you feel stupid? 'Cause your ass a nine. Like, asinine? ...I'll show myself out"

"Health tip: There's never a 'safe' time to shake a teenage boy's hand. Never."

"If you're riding a horse at full speed along side a giraffe and a lion is chasing you, what do you do? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. Props to the radio station I heard this on today."

"To girls suffering from a case of too many friend requests: Here is a free tip Put some clothes on and post your real pictures without Photoshop or makeup. Problem solved!"

"I just discovered that Australia has a Canada day each year on 26 of May https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Sorry_Day"

"No need to write it down, I've a photographic memory *looks hard af* *pukes polaroid*"

"What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano? Oh, you guessed it right ... the tuna fish!"