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Joke of the Day

"I don't get Roomba commercials. Like who spills an entire box of cereal on the floor and is like eh leave it for the robot to clean up"

"My mom once told me if I jack off I'll go blind I never saw her again"

"What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant? Abort - Bort - Bort!"

"Did you hear about the mute motorcycle gang? They don't answer to nobody."

"A daughter goes to her Jewish father and asks for $20 The father replies ""$10, what do you need $5 for?"""

"Do they have rehabilitation services for people who are addicted to Kaopectate? Because this shit needs to stop."

"Two peanuts walking down a street One was a salted...."

"How much sex does one of God's brides have? Nun"

"My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo... I had to put my foot down"

"What do you call a Mexican garden hose in Canada? Joseh"