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Joke of the Day

"God: thou shall not kill Me: but my coworker whistles all day God: still no Me: he says ciao instead of goodbye God: do what you have to"

"I am a 60 year old stuck in an 8 year old body . I want to break free . I should've used more lube."

"What kind of person is sexually excited from looking at young animals? A PETAphile."

"It would be great to be born on Earth and die on Mars. Preferably not on the point of impact."

"Weed doesn't give me an attitude when I forget to pay the electric bill... I love you, weed."

"Some people like those European youngsters... But I prefer the euthanasia"

"I got you a paracetamol, I said ""I got you a paracetamol"", I said. ""But I don't have a headache"", she replied. ""Good, then let's fuck""."

"You know why I love space Murph? you keep gettin older. I stay the same age."

"Mean jokes are like children with cancer. They never grow old."

"What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian? One they've never herbivore."