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Joke of the Day

"I got you a paracetamol, I said ""I got you a paracetamol"", I said. ""But I don't have a headache"", she replied. ""Good, then let's fuck""."

"My dad suffers from bowel incontinence, and so do I ... It runs in my jeans."

"Hear about the Native American who died from drinking too much tea before bed? He drowned in his teepee."

"Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% battery left"

"If I was a quotation mark, I'd be a single quotation mark."

"Kids wouldn't stop shooting me. So I took their guns and *nerfed* them."

"What do French people do when vacationing in Laos? They go swimming in Laotian"

"F.E.M.A. Fuck EverybodyMostly Africans. ~Eddie Griffin"

"I have a magic dog... It's a labracadabrador."

"The Universe is made of Electrons, Protons, Neutrons and.. Morons."