151209

Joke of the Day

"God Plays Golf"

"She's Smart! ""You are so kind, funny and beautiful."" ""Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed."" ""And smart, too!"""

"""...any reason why these 2 should not be married, speak now or..."" They're engagement photo only got 21 likes on Facebook! *crowd GASPS*"

"I was flipping through the channels.... and my wife asked was on the TV. I said ""dust"" And that's how the fight started."

"Masturbation should be considered a craft... as it is 100% hand made."

"What do you call a kitten's post-mortem? An Aww-topsy."

"I keep having this reoccurring dream Every night I dream I'm constantly changing between being a teepee and a wigwam. I went to the doctor and he told me ""Calm down kid, you're two tents.""."

"I have this Jewish friend. Hebrew beer for a living."

"Why was the kitchen full of awkward sexual tension? Because the pot never called the kettle back."

"What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle? ""Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise."""