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Joke of the Day
"God Plays Golf"
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"Two Peanuts Walk into a Bar... One of them was a salted."
"What is a polygon? A dead parrot."
"There's a band called 1023MB It hasn't had any gigs yet."
"Why are all jewish men circumcised? ...because jewish women don't take anything without 10% off."
"Barista: Did you hear Netflix is raising its price $2 a month? Me: Ridiculous! I won't pay it! B: here's your coffee. $12.32 M: thank you"
"Mafia Boss: You wearin' a wire? Me: ""Wire"" you asking me that? lol get it [the rest of this tweet takes place on the bottom of a river]"
"Wouldn't it be messed up if we found out Rome was built in like 23.5 hours?"
"What did the cannibal do to his girlfriend? Eat her out."
"Know any good jokes about running? I need a muse for an art project I'm doing. Also who doesn't love terrible jokes/puns. Looking for things like refrigerator/nose running, but other objects."