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Joke of the Day
"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the hell out of the dog."
Next Joke
"Please write my tombstone in Comic Sans font."
"What did the Chinese man in an unhappy marriage say when he found out his wife faked her death? ""I never bereaved her anyways."""
"I got aids in prison.. Hearing aids. I should've used them though, I might've been able to hear the guy that snuck up on me in the shower and gave me HIV."
"I don't dance. Unless it's for money."
"What's the difference... between a gazpacho bean and a chickpea? I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face."
"HOLD YOUR HORSES. TELL YOUR HORSES YOU LOVE THEM. DONT BE TOO STRICT WITH YOUR HORSES OR THEY'LL DATE OLDER HORSES GET TATTOOS & HAVE PONIES"
"Why do women get periods? Because they deserve it"
"Why do engineering students call themselves engineers? You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista."
"Got a call saying my son got caught lying, cheating & was being expelled. I don't have a son. That kid is one damn good liar"