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Joke of the Day
"How do you kill a circus? You go for the juggler."
Next Joke
"My appointment at Gamblers Anonymous is at 25 to 1..."
"Her: wanna dance? Me: I'm never gonna dance again Her: why? Me: guilty feet have got no rhythm Her: ? Me: sorry, I'm old...*Fml*"
"I just pictured my life.....and there isn't room for you in the frame."
"I want a textbook wedding. One that costs way too much and is of no use to me later in life."
"I don't mean to sound racist, but why do all Chinese food takeout boxes look the same?"
"A husband and his wife. ""honey I have a confession to make. I've been seeing a psychiatrist"" ""Thats's okay dear"" the wife replied. ""I've been seeing the pool man and our daughter's basketball coach"""
"Ladies, the next time a guy has the courage to talk to you, remember he's not wearing makeup. Also, remember what you look like without it."
"As a professional musician I can trick any girls heart I play the organ."
"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."