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Joke of the Day

"Some girls will stop speaking to their friends over the littlest things, but will forgive the same cheating guy a millions times..."

"Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?"

"What's the difference between a whore and a prostitute? One of them is a paid professional and the other one's your mom."

"waldo at the gym can't none of y'all spot me"

"One mans trash... ""One man's rubbish is another man's treasure"" is a fantastic Idiom. But it's a horrible way to tell your kid that he's adopted."

"Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence but they..."

"I squish my belly fat around during serious conversations because I have intimacy issues."

"Can't believe no one told me that cows can't walk down stairs. Now I'm stuck with all these attic cows."

"Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They're so warm and cozy, and it's fun. * scans the laundromat and guess whose they are."

"I have emotional constipation I haven't given a shit in years!"