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Joke of the Day

"Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They're so warm and cozy, and it's fun. * scans the laundromat and guess whose they are."

"I've been volunteering a lot with the hearing impaired lately: I couldn't care less about them as a group, but it's the only way to find a girlfriend who is completely mute."

"After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty ended up having a great fall!"

"Eagles QB Michael Vick is engaged to be married. But both Rappers Pitbull and Snoop Dogg declined the invitation."

"*uses blood from wounds to write my killer's name on the floor* I...will be...avenged. NO! BAD DOG! DON'T LICK THAT! DADDY NEEDS JUSTICE!"

"What do you call the german version of Harry Potter? Heinrich Potter, and the chamber of gas."

"How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!"

"Why did the H blow itself up? Because the Jihad."

"DOCTOR: I think you have a curvature of the upper spine QUASIMODO: That a diagnosis? D: We need an X-ray to confirm. Right now it's a hunch"

"[offensive] what do you call a white outlet White power"