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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a whore and a prostitute? One of them is a paid professional and the other one's your mom."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a semi-professional proctologist? Someone doing a half-assed job."
"What's the similarity between Madeline Mccann and a submarine? They are both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen."
"Why didn't the bear go to college? Because bears don't go to college."
"Just a friendly reminder that the world supposedly ends in 73 days."
"""Ugh! Dave is coming to dinner"" ""Wait, Dave Jones or Dave who impersonates police cars?"" [long silence] [hears faint sirens in the distance]"
"Muslims are good people because they take people around them along to meet Allah."
"Jewish Mathematics."
"Well this is new. A pigeon just shit on my phone as I was texting."
"Some people don't believe in New Year resolutions. Like everyone in this McDonald's drive thru."