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Joke of the Day
"Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars."
Next Joke
"What do comedians put outside their house on Halloween? 'Pun-kins'"
"the best part about kissing a girl is that fun little 30yr build-up right before it happens"
"What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke."
"I've limited my friends to 3 people that know how to split a dinner bill w/o causing a fiasco and life has been awesome since."
"Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days..."
"What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything. - Danny DeVito from Inside the Actor's Studio"
"What did one ox say to another ox? A yoke."
"I like having fun with strangers in elevators by slowly moving my finger towards the emergency stop button while maintaining eye contact."
"Loaf me, loaf me, say that you knead me."