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Joke of the Day

"Drunk scientists pour wine on superconductors and make an incredible discovery... He was later arrested for drunk deriving..."

"What do the weather man and every other man have in common? They say it's going to be 10 inches, then end up only being 4 to 6."

"I like how your profile picture is you at your wedding, so are you like a professional bride"

"Who is the most trustworthy lover? Shakira. Her hips don't lie."

"My husband just had a heart attack during climax He was nearly there - but then he was nearly gone."

"Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse? Neither did she."

"What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeno business"

"What do you call it when 2 guys fight over a slut? Tug-of-whor"

"Wife: Are you even listening to me? Me: Of course W: Oh yeah, what did I say? M: [smoke bomb] W: I can still see you M: [Another smoke bomb]"

"Smokey: ""Only you can prevent forest fires"" Me: HOLY SHIT A TALKING BEAR"