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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse? Neither did she."

"Volkswagen should hire Arnold Schwarzenegger to deal with their emission scandal He's got experience with a Total Recall"

"Him ""You run like a gazelle."" Me ""I'm graceful?"" Him ""No. You'd be easy prey for a mountain lion."""

"Who did the ghost-boy write to during his trip to ghost-summercamp? There is no afterlife."

"Why did it take so long to find the bodies of the black firefighters after the building they were in caught fire and collapsed? Cause the building collapsed, duh."

"Spatula would be a pretty name for a girl. A girl who spreads easily."

"I'll take Dumb Ideas for $300, Alex. Your Answer: sit on the ground and eat food while bugs crawl all over you What is a picnic? Correct!"

"How do you pick up a fat chick? Piece of cake."

"What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator? The shiitalkie mushroom."

"I was out of town and I asked for directions, but the guy just mooned me. I thought he was a bit cheeky."