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Joke of the Day
"Who is the most trustworthy lover? Shakira. Her hips don't lie."
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"Amputees will not find this joke funny: Actually, I'm going to cut this joke short."
"Cold turkey is a scary concept but also an adorable image. Aww give that little guy a jacket."
"My Stephen Hawking book finally arrived from eBay. It's about time."
"How to be Productive: 1.) Make a list 2.) Cross off the first thing on your list 3.) Reward yourself with a nap"
"Social media is one of the best things to ever happen to stupidity."
"Man: I'd like an order of buffalo wings Bartender: sorry, we don't serve food here *a sandwich that just walked in flips a table and leaves*"
"Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child"
"How can you tell if a black guy is well hung? You can't fit your finger between the noose and his neck."
"What is the difference between Scotland and a pregnant woman? A pregnant woman is in Labour"