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Joke of the Day

"LOWERCASE IS FOR THE LOWER CLASS That is an example of a capitalist."

"What does a Pirate say on his 80th Birthday? Aye Matey!"

"I was in an English exam and they asked ""Write the past tense of Think'"" I thought and thought about this for ages. Eventually, I went for Thunk'"

"What's the difference between you and a rooster? A rooster says ""cock-a-doodle-do"" You say: ""any cock will do!"""

"Yes, I do have a stalker. They call me every day, will occasionally buy me underwear, and know more about me than I do. I call her ""Mom."""

"Yesterday a bird crashed into my window... ..of course that's what I was willing it to do, so everything worked out great."

"What do you call someone with spasms and bladder problems? A twitch streamer."

"Bi-Polar Bears usually attack without warning, then sob for hours while eating leftover walrus."

"Me: I'm in the mood for dessert *winks at wife* [2 hours later] Wife: *in lingerie, texts* WHERE R U Me: *texts* Getting ice cream. Y?"

"Where do spiders play their FA Cup final ? Webley stadium !"