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Joke of the Day

"What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of ""Back to the Future""? They Hire 'Em A Biff!"

"I got arrested today I got arrest today, apparently you aren't allowed to do doughnuts within 200ft of a school zone... the frosting worked as great lubricant though"

"An eskimo on holiday in Wales... His car breaks down. A Welshman looks under the bonnet and says, ""you've blown a seal"" Eskimo says ""so what, you fuck sheep"""

"My sister while kneading dough: ""This hand workout dough!"""

"Two dogs on a coffee break *Dogs on coffee break* Dog 1: Heard a great joke. Dog 2: Oh yeah? Dog 1: Knock kn- *Dog 2 goes fuckin' nuts*"

"driverless cars???? I don't trust autocorrect to pick the correct word let alone let a car just drive me .... by itself"

"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feels so good."

"Friends are like trees... They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe."

"Wife: Ugh, I wish my boobs were bigger. Husband: Try rubbing toilet paper between them. Wife: How would that help? Husband: Well, it seems to be working just fine on your ass."

"What do people call Mozart and Beethoven after they died? Decomposers"