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Joke of the Day
"My sister while kneading dough: ""This hand workout dough!"""
Next Joke
"Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie."
"8: I'm gonna marry someone who likes a different cereal than I do, so he won't eat all my favorite cereal. Me: Sounds pretty legit."
"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con"", then what's the opposite of ""progress""? ""Cliche jokes""."
"--Wanna go rubbing in the park tomorrow with me? Thanks auto correct, this is why I can't have nice friends."
"Where do you find a liberal at a convention? In the far left corner!"
"Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair"
"[Arkham Asylum] GUARD 1: that guy's CRAZY *gestures to Joker's cell* JOKER: *using Bing instead of Google* GUARD 2: *whispers* holy shit"
"Starbucks, where 11 members of staff frantically do things behind the counter, yet not one of these things appears to resemble a hot drink"
"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids? He only comes once a year"