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Joke of the Day

"*reads own tweet* Haha, so relatable"

"If you like someone, pretend they're a charger and you're an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor."

"What did the college student say to a banker? I am forever in your debt."

"What's the darkest joke you know? No limits who can disgust me the most? Best part of fucking 21 year olds? Theres 20 of them"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cyril ! Cyril who ? Cyril thing - no imitations here !"

"Where does a shoulder work? In the army."

"Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn't have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get"

"How spicy would you like your clairvoyants? Medium."

"What's another word for a murderer who kills old ladies? A Killergran."

"Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?.... ....In case you get a hole in one!"