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Joke of the Day

"There was a huge accident on the freeway today involving two Astro Vans filled with Mexican families... ... Over 100 people were involved in the accident..."

"You know what they say about men who wear dress shoes... They have no soles."

"If I say ""last Star Wars"" and u say ""Actually you mean 3rd Star Wars! It's a prequel!"" I'm going to hit u with a fish tank."

"[Dog yoga class] Teacher: Alright, let's go into downward human pose [Dogs hunch over and start pretending to text]"

"Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great"

"What do you call a rich Chinese? Cha-Ching"

"I told my wife I was going to the toilet. She said, ""Don't forget to spray."" Now there's piss everywhere."

"A kiss will make her day But anal will make her hole weak"

"What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler? Oh my god put them back in the damn ovens! They're so under-cooked they're writing fucking diaries!"

"If you are religious, then you should not wear underwear. It is holey."