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Joke of the Day

"Customer: ""Hi I'm supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?"""

"If it looks like a duck, Sounds like a cat, And walks like robot, You took too many pain killers."

"There's a butterfly in my office and a nerf gun in my purse. Susan, clear my schedule."

"I was going to cover my bathroom floor with dead baby skin... My wife told be that would be infant tile."

"Funny knock knock jokes to use during sex. Keep it going. Knock knock... whos there?... sperm! :D"

"What beverage should you give someone who is publicly intoxicated? penal tea edit: to someone"

"How many tumblr users does it take to change a lightbulb? Light is triggering, shitlord. DOWN WITH THE BULBTRIARCHY"

"Q: What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for? A: If you divorce your wife in Arkansas is she still your cousin?"

"don't tell me starbucks isn't an emotion i feel that shit in my soul"

"How do you hold an umbrella for a feminist without offending said feminist? She doesn't need one. The glass ceiling keeps her dry."