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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend decided to quit her job at the yogurt company The truth his, she never really liked the culture"

"""Hahahahaha, what a narcissist! This model's Instagram is so pathetic!"" - me for 45 minutes while I scroll through all 700 of his photos"

"It's 27 outside. Oh great, even the weather is younger and cooler than me now."

"Why shouldn't you trust big cats? They are a bunch of lion cheetah pussies."

"My girlfriend said she needs time and distance does that mean she is calculating velocity?"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You would think R, but pirates really have a passion of the seas."

"How many r/jokes commenters does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know but that reminds me of a similar joke my uncle used to tell..."

"(Alt Joke) Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . . title"

"I asked my local store why they don't round the 99 cent price tags to a dollar They said that there's no cents in the change"

"Ladies, if you ever need to fend off an attacker, just start talking about what's been going on in your life."