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Joke of the Day

"I paid 10.50 for a movie ticket to watch Tom Cruise die continuously for 2 hours. I would have paid a hundred dollars to watch that."

"Glad I spent 40 minutes getting my 1 year old dressed so she could go outside for 3 seconds."

"I hope the last season of ""Lost"" will finally reveal if Jar Jar Binks wears boxers or briefs."

"Why can't a storm trooper get a girl pregnant? Because they always miss their target!"

"what did the man say when he saw the chilli that he was about to cut up for his chilli con carne dancing? ""My chilli's gone barmy!!!"""

"Cats & Movies What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie? He paws-ed it!"

"Where can you find the strongest tea? Cliffsides (because it's so steep)."

"What's the difference between Belgian waffles and American waffles? Belgium waffles crumble in the hands of German."

"Note: When you cut jeans into shorts, remember to wear the top half, not the bottom half. lol. these denim calf warmers tickle my legs."

"Tried new pain medication, and an hour later 3 penguins in military fatigues walked into the room and told me I need to kill Mussolini's cat"