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Joke of the Day

"I paid 10.50 for a movie ticket to watch Tom Cruise die continuously for 2 hours. I would have paid a hundred dollars to watch that."

"I bought a retro computer. It came with friends still on the outside of it."

"Whenever I hear brick I always yell out ""HOUSE!"" My friend Alex House hates when I go to his basketball games"

"An audiobook that is 8 hours of breathing and page turning with a surprised ""Oh, out loud?"" right at the end."

"What's a horrible icebreaker? The titanic"

"""Want to come watch the game Saturday at 8:00?"" Well I'm going rollerskating at 1:00, so yeah I should be out of the hospital by then."

"Hundreds of creepy clowns terrorizing people across multiple states. On the bright side, they can all be picked up in one police car."

"Wanna measure the coefficient of static friction between us?"

"Retailers have pulled all the Darth Vader toys from their shelves... Apparently they are a choking hazard."

"Why did the chicken cross the ocean? To get to the other tide."