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Joke of the Day

"Just made this up... NSFW? What turned the nice teenager into a crackwhore? A dick did."

"What does a child with stickers have in common with a cocaine addicted DJ? They both love to scratch and sniff. ^(sorry if it's a repost I'm not here often)"

"Jessica fell out of a tree and broke both her arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Jessica"

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can actually finish off a race"

"So today my dad called me a ""Smart Alec""... ...but I had to remind him, my name is not and never was Alec."

"Wife: It's time for a vacation. Me: Where do YOU want to go? Wife: Hmm... Maybe the Bahamas? Me: Great idea! And, I'LL go camping upstate!"

"I saw Tom Hanks today so I asked him for his autograph. He just wrote Thanks."

"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject, these days if you mention botox no one raises an eyebrow."

"Have you heard about the new female doctor who can cure illness with all natural, homeopathic remedies? Look her up! She just goes by the name, ""Miss Information"" Edit: source - South Park"

"Statistics say that 1/3 of people cheat in their relationships Which got me thinking, Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?"