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Joke of the Day

"I can eat an untied shoe lace and poop it out tied I shit you knot!"

"One time I called my teacher ""mom"" and she looked so confused and said ""I'm not your mom."" It made the rest of homeschooling really awkward."

"What is a test tube baby's biggest fear? Dingos with straws....!! "

"How does an atheist start their prayers? To Whom It May Concern"

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

"What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on? It twerked."

"How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!"

"How did Popeye keep his tool clean? NSFW He dipped it in Olive Oyl"

"Sometimes when I'm taking a dump, I just have to chuckle. You know, for shits and giggles."

"I've spent the last hour masturbating on the couch. This psychiatrist seems to be taking a lot of notes."