3001

Joke of the Day

"You don't have to speak bird to know that when they chirp right outside your window they're asking for you to kill them."

"How was it possible that the three bears had porridge all at different temperatures? Someone is lying."

"BREAKING NEWS!! Cheese Factory Explosion... De-Brie is everywhere!"

"My wife tried on a new dress and turned to me and said, ""I look fat, can you give me a compliment?"" ""You have perfect eyesight"", I replied."

"Why don't programers pay tax to the Devil? Because that would be a sin-tax issue."

"What kind of limes open doors? Key limes."

"if she doesn't reciprocate ur first ""i love u"", press ur finger to ur strategically placed bluetooth & say ""oh cool u love me too? nice"""

"What do you call a man who gives a woman the illusion of entitlement? A Husband..."

"What did the sailor say about Pirates of the Caribbean It's see-worthy"

"its cool that chameleons can blend in with their environment but at a certain points it's like just do u homie!!!"