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Joke of the Day
"What kind of limes open doors? Key limes."
Next Joke
"I painted 1 room & then the hallway and room next to it looked kinda shabby and I'm guessing this is how plastic surgery gets out of hand."
"It's been about 3 years since my last drink and I'm still hungover."
"It's hard to have a Polaroid camera and not seem ""kidnappy""."
"The Only Thing Better Then a Yom Kippur Breakfast is a Yom Kippur Lunch."
"I wish I could hang out with Gwen Stefani. We would discuss which shit is/isn't bananas."
"Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion."
"The Duggar family just announced the name of the newest addition to the family! Joe-Mo Lester"
"A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesn't get jealous when someone has your attention, it's because someone has hers."
"Kids....because who doesn't enjoy a fun game of ""What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"""