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Joke of the Day

"Dear all bands: Not everyone in the band has to have a beard. Start with the drummer and if you still suck, just add beards as needed."

"What is the difference between a human dad and a moth dad? Two letters."

"Harry Potter jokes Give us your best Harry Potter joke. I'll start. What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked? He whipped out his wand and yelled, ""***Shtupify***!""."

"Why is golf better than sex? It lasts for hours and there's 18 different holes."

"How can you tell your boyfriend has a high sperm count? You have to chew before you swallow."

"Flying around shitting on cars. Rock on, birds. Livin' the dream!"

"*approaches a girl, tips hat* M'lady. *approaches a material girl, tips hat* M'donna."

"Give a man a match and he's warm for a day.... Set fire to a man and he's warm for the rest of his life."

"Chemistry joke... I would tell a chemistry joke, but there'd be no reaction."

"My phone is crap. I put it into airplane mode and threw it up in the air. Worst transformer ever."