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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell your boyfriend has a high sperm count? You have to chew before you swallow."

"Why did the dog go to the vets? He was pawly. I'm sorry. I'll see myself out."

"Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye? A: Just between you and me, something smells down there."

"A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action and opened another register"

"Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one? A retail store."

"Dear Californians- Quit telling everyone there's a drought. The ocean is right there. You're just lazy."

"What's a female lizard's favorite song? ""Girls just iguana have fun""."

"What do you call it when you jerk off in the bath? Mastubation"

"I just thought of a really funny joke... but I forgot it."

"Whenever I conduct a job interview I ask the applicant to name their favorite Muppet, and no matter the answer I scowl and shake my head."