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Joke of the Day

"Her: I like risk takers Me:[goes to the McDonalds Drive Thru and places a complicated order. Grabs the bag and drives off w/o checking it]"

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"I need a hobby where I say stuff and people follow me around."
"I asked my dad if he ever got around to checking out the cookbook I wrote. He said yeah, and it was about thyme."
"What happens when the Sun and the Moon get together? They turn out the lights."
"What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids? *Me too*"
"A QA tester walks into a bar... and orders 1 beers and orders 5 beers and orders 9999 beers and orders -1 beers and orders foobar beers"
"Girl at engineering school: I'm like the single-most clumsy person [5 male engineering students emerge from bushes] ""Did you say single?"""
"There are only two types of people in this world People who can extrapolate from incomplete data."
"Hey stupid & ugly people that are brimming with self confidence. What meds are you on? I want some."
"55 in a 25 and let's just say I wasn't referring to my driving."
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