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Joke of the Day

"An 8 yr old boy was screaming at the grocery store because his mom wouldn't buy him a Mars bar. So I bought one and ate it in front of him."

Next Joke
 
"By the power vested in me by this vintage merlot, I now pronounce us husband and wife. I may now kiss the bottle."
"another bar joke a neutron walks into a bar and asks ' how much for a drink ' the bartender replies ' for you, no charge'"
"I did laundry for 7 miles according to my Fitbit that I accidentally washed and dried."
"She: ""I am expecting..."" Me: ""Whoa! Congrats."" She: ""...someone at 3."""
"Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs."
"If women could change one thing about the penis it would be the man."
"Frenchman in sandals What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe flop I'll let myself out"
"Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."
"A billionaire has a billion dollars. A millionaire has a million dollars. What do you call a person with ten dollars? A college student."