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Joke of the Day

"An 8 yr old boy was screaming at the grocery store because his mom wouldn't buy him a Mars bar. So I bought one and ate it in front of him."

"3 days before Christmas, my wife drops her 2007-era iPhone in a public toilet. I get the hint. She wants me to get her a much cheaper phone."

"Why can't the bicycle stand on its own? Because it's two tired"

"My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks"

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... One of them turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I blew thirty bucks in there"""

"What runs, but never sprints? Inherited obesity"

"What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time? Quantum Mechanics."

"Apple have talked about their most recent iPhone recently, The sales team seems to think it was a huge 6s"

"Why did Einstein cross the road? So the other side could get to him"

"""Hey, let's get the guys that built the Obamacare website to update our app!"" - Twitter"