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Joke of the Day
"What do you mean mom, how could my birth certificate be expired?"
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"Don McClean's wife just surpassed American Pie as his greatest hit."
"When I see someone texting and driving I swerve my car into them and try to run them off the road cause texting and driving is illegal."
"My dad always warned me about anal. He said ""Son, this is going to hurt."""
"I was in the Olympics ,I was favorite in the Errection event But only made it to the Semi's"
"Women don't want to hear a man's opinion... ...They just want to hear their own in a deeper voice. (Credit to Jeff Foxworthy)"
"I'd try to commit suicide, But I'd probably fail like the rest of my life."
"What is a prostitutes favorite food? Anything but blue waffles."
"I'm so tired I could eat a horse."
"I showed my 12 year old son an old floppy disk... He said ""Wow... cool! You made a 3D printout of the save icon!"""