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Joke of the Day

"When someone tells me, ""Great question."" I never hear their answer because I'm busy congratulating myself for asking such a great question."

"What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed? Thanks for the handy cap."

"Why do plants hate math? ... Because it gives them square roots"

"How does an Australian shave? Rise up lights"

"What do you call a child who shoots with twigs at a PTSD victim? TWIGERING"

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead"

"Lady Gaga is set to launch her first fragrance in 2012. It will be called ""Eau I left the toilet seat up""."

"Whats the worst thing about the deaf women being raped She didn't hear them cumming"

"[making flamingos] God: bird. Adam: got it. G: but it stand still a lot. A: ok.. G: on one leg. A: how high are you? G: make it pink."

"""Feeling sad? We can help make it worse"" - online dating"