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Joke of the Day

"I've decided I'm not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I'm sorry."

"How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Lutherans don't change."

"I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan."

"What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals? He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed."

"I went to the largest campsite in germany it was mein kampf by blitz creek"

"Here, let me loosen those morals for you."

"How do you kill a vegan vampire? Steak to the heart."

"So this blonde walks in to a computer store... ... and says to the employee; have you got any curtains? Employee says; um no sorry this is a computer store Blonde; duhh, I have windows."

"How can you tell if a dictionary has been working out? You can see the definition."

"My silent frog died... After a noiseless life and a drawn out death, the little guy finally croaked."