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Joke of the Day
"Trump after Obama is like Umbridge after Dumbledore. R.I.P"
Next Joke
"What is brown and sticky? A stick."
"What's the difference between your mom and my mom? Your mom still sucks my dad's dick"
"its such a weird coincidence that all these young financial successes all have rich parents, despite being completely self-made"
"""Sorry I haven't been tweeting much lately."" guy who actually thinks people notice when he's not tweeting"
"2016: Sanders wins presidency 2017: Marijuana legalized in all 50 states 20$x: lol what were we talking about"
"Where does a snowman keep his money? In a snow bank!"
"I used to have a height complex, But then I grew out of it."
"I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying that if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus."
"I had surgery today... It was touch n go at first until the doctor came in and made me stop playing grab ass with the nurses."