202933

Joke of the Day

"I used to have a height complex, But then I grew out of it."

"What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph"

"[Google search history] Moles How to kill moles How to make homemade bombs Rescue moles from cave-in Dealing with regret Mole stew"

"Yesterday, I got food poisoning I don't know when I'll use it"

"Q: What do modern artists eat for breakfast? A: Surreal."

"Did you know that I can see into the future? I have 2020 vision"

"In Liverpool, you'll never walk alone. There will always be other visitors to the city who've had their cars stolen, too."

"[touching face upon receiving compliment] Glad you like it. But, it's not a teardrop tattoo. It's an Oxford comma."

"DAD: Your mother and I love you very much, and I'm not sure how to tell you this, but... you're adopted. DOG: OMG THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE"

"This kid is walking down the street. This kid is walking down the street with just a shoe on. He meets a friend who asks him: ""What happened? Have you lost a shoe?"" ""No, I found one."""