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Joke of the Day

"I had surgery today... It was touch n go at first until the doctor came in and made me stop playing grab ass with the nurses."

"did you know Arnold Palmer was a real human before he became a drink made by Arizona"

"Children in the back seat cause accidents... ...accidents in the back seat cause children."

"BREAKING: North Dakota lawmakers decide life begins at conception, and then begins again the moment you're old enough to leave North Dakota"

"What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law."

"I'll stop calling you a racist if you stop bragging about all the marathons you run."

"A guy sees a blonde across a lake He shouts to her ""Hey how'd you get on the other side of the lake?"" she replies ""You're on the other side of the lake!"""

"Come forth. And the Lord said unto John, come forth and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"Everyone is just looking for that special someone who could do way better but chooses not to for some inexplicable reason."

"It's a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed."