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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower. The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect."

"*eats one piece of lettuce* *checks for abs*"

"How does a Priest find a little boy in the woods? Very exciting"

"How do you kill a vegan? A steak through their heart."

"What kind of transportation does the Pope take? Mass transit."

"Canadians would be chagrined to know how many Americans think a ""Vancouver"" is a big tarp for your VW microbus."

"I'm not sure if Steve Jobs got into heaven... God's a bit touchy about apples..."

"me: I'm tired Medieval Physician: Ok I'm gonna cut you open to drain your blood me: Maybe I could rest MP: haha no I'm cutting your veins"

"I will read that article on how procrastination can kill me As soon as I get around to it."

"My RA just came to my room looking for fire hazards . He said everything was fine . I guess he didn't see my mixtape ."