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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I get jealous of the lingo black people use that I can't use. Then I remember as a white person I have things I can say that they can't like. ""Hey dad."" Or ""Thanks for the warning officer"""

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"Clocks Joke Grandfather clocks have this weird love/hate relationship with insects in that termites are bad, but they're supposed to tick."
"DOCTOR: Do you have any questions? ""Can I shower with this cast?"" DOCTOR: What do you think, guys? PHOEBE, JOEY, CHANDLER, MONICA: Sure!"
"Why did the Mexican school girl get pregnant? Here teacher said to go home and do her ""essay""."
"What meme do Uber drivers hate? Do you even Lyft, bro?"
"Umami so fat she gets mistaken for lipid"
"Mecca should turn into a transformer in the next transformer movie They'll name it Meccatron"
"The Mets got Royally screwed...."
"I should run for public office just to see the scandalous dirt they dig up on me. I would really like to piece together my twenties."
"DATE: You hear that an ostrich escaped from the zoo? ME: [from the kitchen] No DATE: Oh. What's for dinner? ME: A suspiciously large chicken"