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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I get jealous of the lingo black people use that I can't use. Then I remember as a white person I have things I can say that they can't like. ""Hey dad."" Or ""Thanks for the warning officer"""

Next Joke
 
"Phone just autocorrected ""your"" to ""yore"" in case thou wouldst think I'm smarter than thee."
"Every time you do a shot of tequila, an angel hi-fives a fairy and they agree to meet later to kick you in the head while you're sleeping."
"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass. (Haven't seen this on here, hope its not a repost.)"
"""Mickey Mouse, it says you want to divorce Minnie because she was... extremely silly?"" ""No, I said she was fucking Goofy."""
"Why did the Jedi kill his master? To get to the other side. ...Told by my brother last night"
"What a Chinese Restaurant Owner's Preferred License Plate? 888 MSG"
"""Can I buy you a drink?"" ""I'd rather just have the money"""
"You know you're in a shitty bar when the food is colder than your beer."
"Why do they use liquid soap in the Navy? It takes longer to pick up"