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Joke of the Day

"Umami so fat she gets mistaken for lipid"

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"What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House? Receiving heads of state."
"I love people who IM me to tell me that they left a voice message to say that they sent me an email"
"What do Classical musicians do when they die? They decompose."
"Hate it when i accidentally drink a small amount of a carbonated beverage and my body is unable to release the gas and i pop like a seagull."
"There's this guy at work who's always putting on a sweatshirt. No one's ever seen his face."
"I wrote a limerick on a train yesterday There once was a fella named Rick Who started to date this hot chick But brief was romance For tucked in her pants This bitch the whole time had a dick."
"In extremely rare cases women have been known to sleep with me."
"My friends all say I tell bad jokes, but they're wrong... I tell jokes ""badly"""
"If my doctor ever tells me I have three months to live, I'll probably pick December, January and July."