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Joke of the Day

"I heard Chris Brown was starting a new radio station... It will be nothing but hit after hit."

"What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators? He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels."

"Guns don't avoid critical thinking by leaning on tired aphorisms. People do."

"Q: Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge? A: In case she wanted black coffee."

"Had sex in a kiddie pool full of jam once. *pops jean jacket collar* I got marmalaid."

"I have no business with you, unless behind the bushes."

"How do you prevent alcoholism? Shots."

"I told my mom that bukkake is Japanese for bundt cake... I hope I'm there when she orders dessert at the steak house."

"Say what you will about us hypocrites, but the standards we claim to have are WAY higher than yours."

"What do you call a blind deer? No-eye-deer. What do you call a blind dead deer? Still no-eye-deer. What do you call two blind deer that died while having sex? Still no-fucking-eye-deer."