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Joke of the Day

"I have no business with you, unless behind the bushes."

"Jay-Z has an underachieving brother named Lay."

"Two men were chatting in a bar ""So what do you do?"" ""I write"" ""Oh, poetry or prose?"" ""Neither, I write cartoons"" ""Why's that?"" ""No rhyme or reason"""

"Why did the farmer's house catch on fire? He left his home on the range."

"Accents are important. Would you rather be touched by Jesus or Jesus?"

"What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? The rib cage."

"What's the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer? The podiatrist bucks up your feet."

"What do you get when you cross a leopard and a camel? A fireside rug you can get a good hump on. Source: Jo Brand on QI S3; Cat's Eyes"

"What's the difference between a raft guide and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family."

"I told my wife she was applying her eyebrows too high She looked surprised."